Crush Groovin'

We all admire the guys on TV, when they fire at the green; the ball lands about ten-feet past the hole and then spins back to inches of the pin. To the average golfer, that is the Holy Grail, the ability to spin it like the pros do.

Modern golf is a technologically driven industry, and the better-engineered clubs and balls make golf courses shorter and playing easier for the average golfer. And much of the boom in golf can be attributed to the fact that the metal wood and the square groove facing on club heads make play more enjoyable for you and I. So I was not surprised when the USGA recently announced that yes, square grooves give a definite advantage to golfers over the v-shaped groove. But I was surprised when the USGA announced they were going to alter the clubs by 2010 and eventually a ban of the club in USGA sponsored events. So, it looks like if you were to win the club championship with those Pings in your bag (or the more plentiful knock off design) the club would be forced to strip you of your trophy.

But the research that came out of the USGA makes you wonder what the big deal is. Granted that the square grooves have made tee shot accuracy unnecessary because the design of the square groove gets more facing on the ball out of the rough. The grooves have no effect on the surlyn-covered ball, which 2/3 of all golfers play. So if only 5% of all golfers can break 100, and only 13% of average golfers can land the ball on the green from 100 to 200 yards away (50% for professionals) and the grooves only effect the ball that really good amateurs and the pros play why the need for the change? Certainly square grooves help the pro, but for we mere mortals why should the USGA care?

One might argue that the metal wood has had more of an impact then the groove controversy. The metal woods came out roughly the same time as the square groove facing, and no innovation has changed golf more. The need to lengthen golf courses is a direct result of the titanic drives that the metal heads allow. I would guess that if the USGA knew then what it is experiencing now, the metal wood would not have been allowed. But that toothpaste is out of the tube, and the amount of money that the metal woods generate will preclude any attempt to go back to the way it was.

In the late 80’s, looking at business disaster because of the attempted ban on its Ping Eye 2 square groove irons; Ping sued the USGA and the PGA for 300 million dollars. The suit was settled out of court in five months; the rules were clarified, Ping re-tooled their clubs to the new standard and the old design grandfathered in. And golf never looked back as the boom in golf began due in no small way to the new technology making golf easier for we weekend warriors.

The question remains, why such a drastic step? Should we be naive enough to believe that the square groove professional has such an advantage over his v-groove opponent? From what I know of professional golfers, if it were that big a difference, then everyone would be switching to the “winning” technology. There’s some big money at stake and no one would jeopardize their opportunity to get their share. If it only affects the professional player, then why not have the PGA ban square grooves, and leave us hackers some comfort in this wretched game?

Maybe they won’t and the ban will be for the elite player only. The advantage of the grooves is nothing new, which is why the PGA tried banning the use of them in the early 80’s. My suggestion would be for the elite players to be restricted similar to what they do in NASCAR. Everyone uses exactly the same equipment. By that I mean all the equipment must meet the standards set.
Sure, Tiger will still hit Nike, and Phil plays Callaway, but the only difference will be the player. The ball, the woods and the irons will all perform to a pre arranged standard. That way, the better player can be judged instead of his technology. Leave the rest of us to hit the BIG HEAD TITANIUM SHAFT ZIRCON ENCRUSTED RADIO CONTROLLED WHIZ BANGS – and still shoot a 100.

Thanks to Run-DMC for their title "Krush Groovin'"