George, give me a call!

Is it I or is the United States solution to the Iraq situation staring us right in the face?
As the troop death level passes the 3,000 mark and the death and destruction of this ancient country reaches maniacal proportions, the need for any solution seems to be more than apparent.

With approval ratings plummeting, the idea of a troop surge seems to be political suicide, if not for the President himself than for the Republican Party and the unholy alliance of McCain and Lieberman, for sure. And after spending three hours of meetings with his advisors, unable to come up with an exit plan, I felt the President could use my suggestion.

Now I am sure that I am not aware of all the intricacies of the Middle East crisis, and there will be critics that will dismiss my plan as simplistic and naive. But after about 10 minutes of internal debate it seems the plan will be agreeable to all parties of the quandary we find ourselves in over Iraq. So here it is, my simple, yet comprehensive plan to extract us from the most divisive situation in America today.

WMD’s aside, the reason given for our invasion incursion into Iraq was for the removal of an evil despot and the establishment of a democratic government in the Middle East. If we suspend the manner in which we tried to accomplish this goal I would say the majority of Americans would say that idea was a good one. Americans hate despots (see George III and Hitler) and like democracy.

Well, with the end of the year hanging of Saddam, we have now concluded the mission. Every supporter of the President’s policy has pointed to “a free and democratic” Iraq as an accomplishment. Certainly the Iraqis seemed to like the idea of democracy, as their voting percentage was superior to the numbers that vote in the United States. So the despot has been removed and democracy, albeit shaky, has been established in the Middle East. So, the President can now call the press conference or get back on the flight deck and declare the mission has now been accomplished and give the order for the immediate withdraw of U.S. forces. Seems so simple, doesn’t it?
The duly elected government can now get on with the running of their country without the headache of those infidels running about and the U.S. news media spotlighting their problems. Iraq can go back to being a once important place in ancient history and a question on a geography quiz.

Halliburton is still available to overcharge for oil industry management and reconstruction and reestablish the ancient Middle Eastern custom of the giving and receiving of bribes. They could even “bid” on reconstruction of infrastructure in Iraq; similar to the way they did it in New Orleans. And with the experience gained in running the prisons in Iraq, other Eastern Europe countries and Cuba, they could easily help to train the “new” Iraqi police force. Or better yet, subcontract the actual policing itself. There will probably be an abundant job pool of former terrorists, insurgents, ex-soldiers and mercenaries to do the job.

The American Armed Forces could come home and rest up and retool for future interruptions of sovereignty, forestalling the need for a draft or the hiring of foreign nationals to wear the American uniform. The Armed Forces could take the 170,000,000,000 earmarked for Iraq and put it towards hardware that is outdated by the time it arrives to the contracted services date or the 800 dollar wrenches like they used to do. You can always use another B-70 bomber, to take the battle to the enemy like we did to Osama in the Afghanistan Mountains. Did we ever blast him out of hiding?


Now it is true that the American media would fall into a temporary slump of filling time and space with the removal of Iraq news, but the 2008 elections should be more than adequate to help fill the air and newsprint with endless speculation on politicians sex lives and partisan babbling.

So, when the President hears about my plan to ending the sacrifice of American service men and women and implements it to the full credit he will receive, I won’t mind. And if his place in history is marked as the man who got us away from the Iraqi miasma, that’s OK with me. What are friends for?