Thanks, Mom

It’s a cool, spring day in Stockholm this Sunday. The sun has been darting in and out of a layer of clouds all day. In comparison to the previous week, it’s a little chilly today. Probably because the breeze is up, you know, that wind chill thing at work.

The Viking Princess had a women’s competition at the golf club where we are members. She just called to say she was going to take her mother out to eat. Her mom is 89 years old, and I heartily approve of any time she spends with her mother.

What is not happening today in Sweden is the American remembrance called Mother’s Day. It will be a big day for the phone companies as today is the single biggest usage day in the United States. I wonder what the spooks in the NSA are going to make of my call to my mother in the U.S.? Because as I will be calling from a foreign country it will be guaranteed that it will be tapped.

When they listen in they will hear some family gossip that my mom will clue me in on. How my brothers are doing and whether her grandsons have called her or not. I will tell her some cheery stuff about the goings on over here. We will update each other about our health. I usually tell her an off color joke, which she will always politely laugh at, sometimes because she really enjoyed it. I will end our phone call by telling her I love her. And she will sincerely tell me the same. Then the NSA boys can connect to someone else as we hang up. I hope they don’t forget to call their moms.

What they won’t hear is the growing appreciation that I gain each and every time I talk to my mother. She has been a treasure that I have had my entire life. It seems that I didn’t realize it until I, too, became a parent.

My mother gave to me the qualities that have lasted my entire life. They are more gifts than anything else. The first is reading. Growing up our house was filled with a myriad of magazines and we received 4 daily newspapers a day. I was constantly reading and looking at the pictures in Life or reading the exaggerations in the Daily News. I still can’t go through the day without reading some paper or news story. Most come by Internet now but I try to read the daily Stockholm paper that we get here in the morning.

My mother was also a fan of the popular music of her era. The radio was on all day, every day. She loved Frank, Tony and Mel. She endured her son’s growing interest in rock, though she did ask me once why I had to play Bob Dylan so loud. I tolerated her because she “knew” nothing about “my music” back in the 60’s. But today, Sinatra, Bennett and Tormé get played as much as any artist in my collection. I guess I was the one who learned. I’m sure my eclectic taste in music is a direct result of her exposing me to so much.

She taught me the manners that have never left me. I still allow people ahead of me on busses and trains. Swedish women are always pleasantly surprised when I hold the door open for them. I still call my elders “sir” or “ma’am”. I know which fork to use at a dinner party and I wait until everyone is seated before starting. I owe it all to her relentless training.

My brothers and I all have a good sense of humor, can appreciate a good joke and we can spin a good yarn. This comes from my mom, as she herself is quick witted and has always been able to keep us on our toes. She has always been able to “get it.” She is as sophisticated and hip as anyone growing up in the NYC area is.

My mother has always cheered me in my endeavors and supported my love affairs, even when she thought they might not have been the best things for me. She has never judged or criticized me. Her tongue must have been scarred in her need to bite it as she listened to my many schemes and future plans. She has never pried into my affairs and only has offered advice when asked. She is the antithesis of most TV mothers. She loves her sons and dotes on her grandchildren, which I am proud to say two of them are from me.

On this Mother’s Day, I will be nearly 4,000 miles away from my mother. It is not as far away as I have been on other Sundays in May. But it is a bit of a hike, nonetheless. Still, on this Mother’s Day, I have never felt closer.